Sunday, May 04, 2008

May I hurt you just a little?

What am I supposed to do? Carry on or lose my will?

Sometimes we find ourselves in certain relationships which are really difficult to end. They are often toxic and destructive and, most of the times, we refuse to let go cause they are addictive as well.

That's why our sub-conscience creates some kind of self-defense in order to block other people's feelings. Right now I'm going to talk about my own case.

When a person lets me down and hurts me so bad the only thing my mind can do is change my attitude towards that specific person. So I start being sarcastic, bitchy, tacky and very often I say things that I don't feel just to make him/her hate me and just to keep them away from me.

I know it's really bad and I really try to change that but I just can't. Just not with people who have done terrible things to me, I need to drive them away, I can't stand that a guy who cheated on me one day the next day starts talking to me as if nothing happened. I feel the need to hurt that man... And I'm sorry, really.

But I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has this kind of defenses right? I know I can be rude and mean many times but, is that so strange? Am I the only one? Is this the time when some scientists kidnap me and treat me like their guinea pig?

I'm trying to be different but it's so difficult... I just need a little time...

Now playing: Sinergy - Wake up in hell


  1. Hola saludos desde aqui mismo! De Costa Rica jejeje San Jose
    well... i wanna talk to you about this post... I feel the same, some times... It's not strange for me at all... but it's difficult and hurts me too...
    Thanks for be a person different like me in this world :P

  2. I was reading your post, I understand you. I know is very hard to fight against that defense mechanism you have. But let me tell you, that maybe you are not giving opportunity, to those persons to apologize with you. That maybe in the past you fought with someone or a person hurt you. Besides we are humans, we make mistakes everyday. Could it be that those persons want a chance to talk with you, but you do not let them.

    I am telling you this, because I had a similar experience and I lost a great friend. And it is something you will not forget :(

    Bye. Take care ;)

  3. Thank you for posting.

    Well I am willing to forgive anyone who wants to talk to me but sometimes lies can destroy all the trust you had for certain person.

    I understand your point but to forgive and forget is hard, although of course we are all humans and we make mistakes but, how do you act the same to a person who has let you down so many times before?

    Per say, I had a friend some time ago, we were like sisters but then she fell in love with this @sshole, I made a mistake cause I told her what I thought about him and on my birthday she told me things I will never forget and, although I was trying to be protective, she preferred the guy (obviously).

    Things were never the same and right now we don't talk to each other...

    I hate to say this but there are some people who just look for this kind of stuff to happen. =(


Any webs to knit?